It was the year 1981, I was 13 years old at that time when my mother who was the heart of our home passed away suddenly of an aneurysm. Needless to say we were devastated. My father, three brothers and I dealt with the pain in our own way and I found myself seeking comfort in people, things and alcohol, only to be hurt again and again.

By the time I was 17 years old I felt hopeless, tired and weary of living. On the day of contemplating suicide for the second time, I had to ask myself these questions: If I end my life today, will I be going to a worse place like hell? Does hell exist? I pondered that for a moment not really knowing if God existed. I thought to myself, "If hell is real than God has to be real because the bible says both." At least, that is what I heard growing up from my Catholic Grandmother, Grandma Anna whom I loved dearly.

After pondering these questions for a brief moment, miraculously out of no where, all the words that were witnessed to me from the past about Jesus and salvation, (I didn't know was there) came flooding into my mind and I knew right then and there exactly what I needed to do in order to find out if God was real. I needed to receive Jesus, confess my sins, ask Him to come into my heart and take over my life because I definitely wasn't doing a good job.

Someone once told me that if I wanted to know if God was real all I needed to do was ask Him. So I thought, "Why Not...I'll give it a shot." As I sat alone in the dark of my bedroom, I cried out to God, said the sinners prayer and asked God to show himself to me if he was indeed real. I still remember sobbing and pouring my heart out - desperate to find hope for my life.

Just one week later after I said the sinners prayer, my two brothers came home from the store and told me they met three girls who were my age and invited them over to come meet me. At first I was upset thinking they were using me to meet girls or my other thought was that I was in such bad shape I must have been a charity case. Before I could even lay into them the door bell rings and it's them. Lynne, Norma and Vivian. I was cordial, and they seemed nice and invited me out to play some basketball at a nearby park. I went along having nothing else to do and immediately bonded with them and later that night I found out that they were all Christian. They became my new best friends and Lynne took me under her wing and discipled me the following three years.

My life was transformed from that day forward and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that God was indeed real and that He answered my cry. Within the next four years my entire family recieved the Lord and once again there was joy in our house.

It is now twenty three years later, I am a Sr. Pastor's wife, a woman's counselor, Christian writer and columnist. I mentor and disciple women and I have a heart for the lost and the hurting. I now encourage all who will listen that there is always Hope for their situation in Jesus.

God has truly done a miracle in my life and all I can say is that God is real and when you seek Him with all your heart, you will find Him through Jesus Christ.

Sincere blessings,
Filoiann Wiedenhoff

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